You’ve decided to have your child evaluated, and now need to figure out how to talk to them about being evaluated. I recommend that you present it as something you are doing together as a team, and focus on the meetings with me rather than the word “testing” or “evaluation.”
Introducing the Concept of Being Evaluated
Remember, the whole point of an evaluation is to learn more about how your child thinks.
That way:
- Parents know how to help
- Teacher’s know how to teach
- The child knows more about their brains
One way to introduce the topic could be:
“You know how you’ve been working really hard on __________? We know it’s been tricky, and aren’t sure why. I think it’s a good idea to get some more information about how you think about things, and how your brain works. I met someone that works with kids to help make __________ more manageable, and I’d like you to meet her. Her name is Rowan.”
Introduce Me
It can help students of all ages to know more about who is evaluating them. It’s a vulnerable thing! There are plenty of pictures of me on this website. Share them with your child, and let them know that you already spoke with me. For younger children, it can help to say something like:
“I spoke with Rowan the other day, and I think you’ll like her. She has an office in Davis, and helps kids learn about how their brains work. She likes some of the same things that you do like __________.”
Talk About the Appointment
When your child first comes in, we don’t start with something hard. The goal is to help them feel comfortable in the new space with a new person. That way, we can get a good understanding of their skills and abilities rather than just measure how they do under pressure in new situations. The office is set up for play based therapy and assessment, which includes a variety of toys and games. We usually start with a game, and I go over what we’re going to do together. Typically, this is when parents step out into the lobby.
For younger children, I use a similar statement as above. I say something like
“Your mom/dad mentioned that __________ has been tricky, and I would like to find out why. I’m hoping you’ll do some different activities with me so I can learn more about how your brain works.”
I always let them know that all sorts of other kids come to my room to do all sorts of different things. It’s important that they know that the evaluation is for helping their team, rather than identifying something that is wrong with them.
For older children, I focus on being transparent, and the importance of their input. I highlight that some of what they share with me can stay between us, but that I will be writing a report to share with their parents. I stress that their input is valuable, and a key part of us solving this problem together. I usually say something like:
“We’re here to learn more about how you think about different things. I only talk about what we do together, and what we learn with you, and your parents. This entire process is confidential, and focused on giving your more information about yourself. When I talked with your mom/dad, they said that __________ has been hard. Does that sound right? Is there anything else that has been challenging or bothersome lately?”
Dealing with Questions
Kids always have questions! Especially when you feel like you don’t have all the answers. For kids that are worried, or may be hesitant to engage in testing I suggest answering with brief but accurate information. If they ask what it’s going to be like, you could say something like:
“Rowan has lots of different activities to do with you to help learn about your brain. Some of them are going to be easy, and identify things you are good at. Others may be tricky, or feel challenging. She even said sometimes there is not a right answer, she just wants to know how you think about it. Your only job is to try, and do your best.”
Sometimes kids are worried about doing well, or making mistakes. I always let them know that some of the stuff is going to be tricky, and challenging. The important part is that they try. Feel free to refer to me when answering questions like that:
“When I talked to Rowan, she said that if something is challenging, or feels overwhelming to tell her. She’s happy to adjust for you, and there’s going to be lots of breaks.”
Introducing the Space
Transitions are hard! It can help for some kids to see the space. If you are local, they may have been to the shopping center our office is in already – it’s a popular spot of soccer team parties. Feel free to show them the pictures below:
